Love Gone Wrong Is Writing Itself
How to Burn Down a Marriage
The Key to a Great Marriage: Hating the Same Things
6 Reasons Why Having Childless Friends Is Awesome
The 7 Stages of First Best Friendship
I Will Probably Always Be a Single Mom
What the Statistics Won't Tell You About Single Mothers
10 Lessons About Friendship for My Daughter
I'm a Single Mom Taking My Chances on Ellen DeGeneres' Matchmaking Skills
Dear Single Moms on Valentine’s Day — You're Going to Be OK
On Mentally Preparing Myself for Dating as a Single Mom
Jennifer Lopez and I Approach Dating the Same Way: We Don't Do It
This Is What Divorce Looks Like
My Divorce Has Left Me with a Laundry List of Deal Breakers
He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.”
I’m like “yeah but this club sucks, let’s go somewhere else.”
He’s like “aight.”
After some more idle chit-chat with the original 6.5-7 at the bar, we leave.
Next venue:
Nothing to write home about here. When we walk in, I notice — as I’m walking past — a group of four girls. All of them are fucking hot, save one, who isn’t ugly, she’s just less hot. Like 8.5-9 (I say she was a 9, but friend is like nah, she’s like an 8…8.5 probably), 8, 7, 5.5-6. And I dunno, maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass. Me and my friend leaned on the bar, and I was like ‘okay, I’m going to walk toward the bathroom, come back, and open those bitches.’ I proceeded to do just that.
I open all of them at once.
“Hey I gotta get back to my friends, but…well, since I’ve been here two girls have asked me for weed. So….I mean, do I look like a drug dealer?”
Here’s the shocking thing….that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness. Like, they all gave me their focus, and it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.” They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….”
I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.”
How to Burn Down a Marriage
The Key to a Great Marriage: Hating the Same Things
6 Reasons Why Having Childless Friends Is Awesome
The 7 Stages of First Best Friendship
I Will Probably Always Be a Single Mom
What the Statistics Won't Tell You About Single Mothers
10 Lessons About Friendship for My Daughter
I'm a Single Mom Taking My Chances on Ellen DeGeneres' Matchmaking Skills
Dear Single Moms on Valentine’s Day — You're Going to Be OK
On Mentally Preparing Myself for Dating as a Single Mom
Jennifer Lopez and I Approach Dating the Same Way: We Don't Do It
This Is What Divorce Looks Like
My Divorce Has Left Me with a Laundry List of Deal Breakers
He’s like “dude, that was awesome. You opened them. We’re rockstars in this club right now. Look at all these faggots in their nice clothes just standing around. We’ve literally talked to -all- the girls in this place.”
I’m like “yeah but this club sucks, let’s go somewhere else.”
He’s like “aight.”
After some more idle chit-chat with the original 6.5-7 at the bar, we leave.
Next venue:
Nothing to write home about here. When we walk in, I notice — as I’m walking past — a group of four girls. All of them are fucking hot, save one, who isn’t ugly, she’s just less hot. Like 8.5-9 (I say she was a 9, but friend is like nah, she’s like an 8…8.5 probably), 8, 7, 5.5-6. And I dunno, maybe it was the slight buzz of alcohol, but I shit you not, I became a warrior in that pass. Me and my friend leaned on the bar, and I was like ‘okay, I’m going to walk toward the bathroom, come back, and open those bitches.’ I proceeded to do just that.
I open all of them at once.
“Hey I gotta get back to my friends, but…well, since I’ve been here two girls have asked me for weed. So….I mean, do I look like a drug dealer?”
Here’s the shocking thing….that resistance from the other night? Gone. Replaced by — it wasn’t attraction — but just this sort of open-mindedness. Like, they all gave me their focus, and it felt like…’all right kid, you’ve got a few minutes — WOW us.” They all look at one another, and it’s sort of a tepid ‘nah, not really, I mean…yeah nah….”
I point at the 9 (yeah, that’s fucking right) and just say “you’re a hairdresser, right.”